Emotions are a Gift? Yes! Part 3

Long Journey... Part 3

Photo by Benjamin Elliott on Unsplash

Note:

Big had the idea that breaking out of Little’s jail meant freedom. Big had no idea how Little had been protecting her. The fruit is about to appear.

Emotions are a Gift? Yes! Part 3

Long Journey... Part 3

Big began to learn a lot.

Things were very different, uncomfortable, crowded, and loud.

The house became invaded by all of Dad’s Hungarian friends. They were in every room of the house packing and putting everything into boxes. It was loud with Hungarian conversations and uncomfortable as Big heard all of the opinions of what would be coming next for the four orphans. They didn’t realise Big could understand Hungarian. (At least the gist of the conversations.)

In the meantime, Mom’s aunt’s needed to find a new place to go. They only spoke Spanish as they were both from Nicaragua. Big remembers Aunt Mary as 98 and kind of dried up like a prune, while Aunt Julia was in her 80’s plump and jovial. An interesting pair.

In the first few hours there were things that Big could do to help. Big knew where everything was and once the keys arrived she went and showed where to find everything in Mom and Dad’s closet.

Once the wills were found and read, debate about Big and her siblings ended. Soon the Hungarian portion of their Guardians arrived and the four Orphans went to their Guardians home an hours drive away.

Big’s shake up was on the order of the Northridge earthquake where the streets were blowing up, buildings were burning, and everything was chaos.

Before the accident Little/Big was the Helper, Mom’s right hand, caring for her younger siblings and helping as the secretary answering the phone, taking messages, and occasionally fighting with her brother the second oldest. After the accident Big was just an Orphan kid without any idea of what would be happening next. This is where the differences between Little and Big come into focus, in a Hindsight is 20-20 kind of way.

Big went from being Mom’s right hand--aware of all the details--to being completely unaware. Remember that Big is like PC. Logical. Analytical. Structured.

Complete lack of knowledge of what would happen next along with being treated as though she were a kid (she was after all 😂) caused a downward spiral in Little. Remember that Little is like Apple? Creative. Emotional. Fun loving. Predictably unpredictable?

It was the supreme setup. The kingdom of darkness in overdrive.

Over the next seven years Big experienced an echo of Little’s experiences that were a part of the years between 3-10 years old.

Big didn’t know what she didn’t know.

What did Big experience?

• Rejection

• Alcoholics

• Abusive Adults

• Double standards

• Running away

• Betrayal

• Tequila Sunrise that was really a knockout trick

• Rape

• Repeated Molestation

• Belief that telling anyone what was happening would make things worse

• Shuffling between California and Budapest and Kansas as an unwanted burden

What did Little experience?

• Telling Mom at 3 years old what was happening with Dad-incest

• Mom didn’t believe Little

• Little was shocked and shut down

• Emotions went into the closet

• Sensing tuned in more & more

• Outside looking in looked like People Pleasing

• Playing Dr was really something else better left in dark closets

How did this Push-Me-Pull-You experience between Little and Big play out?

Big began her Awareness with the Wonder and the Innocence of a small child.

Big had Awakened into a mess. Or was it Little’s retreat? 🤔

The Emotional Overwhelm was so immense. It became a kind of Survival Mode shorthand whose only focus was just to get up another day. No matter the distractions or the drama.

Big had the reins of Awakened Awareness and in Logical, Analytical PC fashion concluded that Emotions were an Affliction.

Big had no idea that conclusion was jailing her Little.

Big had no idea that the repercussions of that conclusion would affect all relationships. Including the Trinity, her marriage, her children and herself.

Stay tuned! The Romans 8:28 Flip is about to be revealed in Part 4 along with the Missing Translator.